My life is currently in chaos

Life update

So my life really isn’t that interesting. And I’m not saying that to be humble, I really mean it. My life is as boring as it gets currently. All I do is work 25-30hrs a week at the it shack (DQ) for those who don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, go to class, grade homework, and hangout with the significant other.

Yes I refer to the guy I’ve been talking to as the significant other. We haven’t fully defined the relationship, nor do I plan on asking anytime soon. I’m basing the assumption that we are something of the fact that we hangout all the time, talk somewhat daily and he asked me to go home with I’m in April. We’re not Facebook official, however, I also don’t feel as though it is necessary to put my life on blast so that hundreds of people who could care less about my life can have a snapshot of what’s going on. He is my significant other because currently he is a significant person in my life. I spend a good chunk of time with him, and am getting to know him day by day. I will say that the this the most hardest relationship I’ve ever been in do to the fact that he has more trust issues than I do. Also it frustrates me because he at times puts up this front to try and push me away and it doesn’t. At times he pushes me to the point when I want to leave but then he retracts and comes back to normal. It saddens me that he only trusts two people in his life. Neither being his parents. If I couldn’t trust my mom I’m not sure what my life would be like. On top of that bring cheated on by multiple people. I just want to constantly tell him that I’m not like the, that I wouldn’t do that but I know it won’t make a difference. That it’ll just take time for him to come to get s with that.

Besides the new relationship. I’ve been busy at my internship. I really do enjoy my internship. It has opened my eyes to another part of the mental health field that I would have not really considered otherwise. For the longest time I was just Ike ehhh substance abuse it’s whatever….but now that I’m actually hands on experiencing it indirectly through my residents I am able to observe the huge impact it has on people and their lives. It saddens me to see o e of my reside to doing so well only to relapse and throw it all dhow the drain.

In addition to my internship I’ve just been works g a ,or (25-30hrs a week ) and keeping busy with school and thing for stats.

A month from tomorrow and I will be done with the shit hole DQ.i will be less stressed and have more time to do things that I want to do and hangout with my friends before I graduate. I also will get to come home for Easter for the first time since the end of December. I’m pretty excited. I miss my family and friends at home. Especially because I feel as though my life here in Evansville and their lies back home have been so busy that its been hard to keep in touch.

I graduate I less than two months not going got lie, I’m terrified. I may joke and say I’m ready, but secretly I’m not. I’m not excited to ,eave some of my closets frie do here. I’m not ready to completely live by myself. I’m not ready to start all over again. Lets be real, making new frie da is not an easy task and is always super awkward it scares,e tone in a new city all by my self. Even though I am super scarred, I know its one of the biggest and important parts of my life. I will be continuing school which is something g that I have always wanted to do. I will be Ina new place, I will meet new people, and hopefully I will impact some lives positively. But for now, I must take this adventure day by day and cherish the little moments before it all come to a close.

(Source: haylieerin, via natashanicole88)

Overall I can’t really complain. School has been going well. And by we’ll I really mean its flying by. Work consumes a majority of my time. My internship is great. And I’ve just been hanging out with the boy. Things are starting to fall into place. If only I had some sort of idea about grad. school.

Today’s highlights consist of:

1. Meeting up for my internship at the VA clinic.
And
2. Laughing my ass off to the point of crying with my BFF Jill.

Overall it’s been a pretty unproductive yet successful day.

Now back to reading a book and watching Supernatural. My life is zoo exciting

Same Love- Macklemore feat. Ryan Lewis

A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for ‘em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference!

The truth is:

This morning was the first time in my life that I have actually cried from pure excitement and joy.

Sure I’ve cried from laughing at something funny, but never have I cried from simple excitement and happiness.
I was relieved this morning that I got into Chicago’s MSW program. For those who don’t know it’s the third best program in the nation and is one of the hardest schools to get into. The fact that I was accepted is still amazing to me. Especially because it is to a school I actually want to attend. I want to continue to succeed and become a great role model my little cousin can look up to . I want her to know that she should never give up her life’s goals. Now I’m just waiting to hear back from Texas and the hard decision will come. If I am accepted I plan on visiting both schools and then making a decision.

(Source: Flickr / sarahabraham, via cuntlery)

Overall I can’t complain.

Tonight was nice :)

Home alone and what have I done so far:

-drink margaritas by myself
-unpack
-shower
-paint my toes/nails

This is the life……and now I’m about to knit. Prepping for my awesome grandma years